I knew it would go down like this. I did.

I knew that, if and when the True Love would re-emerge, it would happen just as it is happening now.

I never thought that we'd close the place, find a place immediately and move right into our new home but I also never thought that it's take this long to find a new place if we did indeed decide to re-open (which was ALWAYS in question, quite honestly).

I spent parts of today on the phone, on the internet and at the city's planning department, gathering information and doing what I can to try and make progress.

The landlord of the building really wants to move on this and so do I but it's not just something you can speedily throw yourself head-first into. I/we could be locked into agreements that will require 5 years of my/our time, effort and commitment.

Fuck rushing right into anything, I say.

Still, yeah, I want this place and I want the keys NOW.

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The Real McKenzies - Best Day Until Tomorrow
Hanover Saints - New War, Same War
The Lunachicks - Jerk Of All Trades
Murphy's Law - How To Star A Fight
Circle Jerks - Letter Bomb
Turbonegro - Train of Flesh
Groovie Ghoulies - Carol
The Helper Monkeys - Santa Fe
Dead Milkmen - Punk Rock Girl
X - White Girl
Lagwagon - Sleep
Mike Park - From Korea
Against Me! - Sink.Florida.Sink
Fear - Beef Baloney
Ramones - Psychotherapy
Suicidal Tendencies - Institutionalized
The Avengers - We Are The One
All - World's On Heroin
Samiam - Long Enough To Forget You

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you're invited to
what i have planned for you
be not fearful or excited
grab that claim you stake
bake a pie or cake
and keep your fingers ever in it

(chorus)
curveball time again, sad to hear you're moving on
things you'd rather do, is it me, is something wrong?
keep this to yourself, keep it any way it goes
drift apart for now, get it back, lord only knows

proof is positive
no more you to give
at least the you i've known forever
but that's ok, it's fine
cuz all that was is mine
me and my big dumb nostalgia

(chorus)

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Orange - No Rest For The Weekend
H20 - One Life, One Chance
State Of Alert - I Hate The Kids
Dropkick Murphys - Sunshine Highway
Screeching Weasel - I Hate Led Zeppelin
Iggy Pop - Search & Destroy
The Secretions - Computerhead
Strike Anywhere - Sunspotting
J.F.A. - Cokes & Snickers
Rancid - International Cover-Up
Madball - Get Out
M.I.A. - Gas Crisis
The Soviettes - Photograph
Jawbreaker - Rich
Minor Threat - Screaming At A Wall
Tiger Army - Atomic
Black Flag - Jealous Again
Pennywise - Premeditated Murder
The Buzzcocks - What Do I Get?
Sham 69 - Borstal Breakout
The Dead Boys - Ain't Nothing To Do
Bad Religion - Suffer
D.O.A. - Smash The State
Teen Idols - Ketchup Soup

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listen here

be careful, please don't fall
watch out for flies on walls
be clear or not at all
the password is hooray
accept your weaknesses
and hope there's something left
convinced it comes to this
as sure as Kev's my name

(chorus)
glory, joy, and scream out "oi!", boy
so good and bad
it's all that we ever had
glory, joy and scream out, "oi!", boy
she's mom and dad
it's all that we ever had

i'm blind because of you
a fact that makes me blue
and everything is true
except what's coming next
bring out the best in me
and then you set it free
come keep me company
and then please go away

(chorus)

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Pennywise - Fox TV
The Subhumans - Rats
The Jam - The Modern World
Final Summation - Judgement Day
Smoke Or Fire - California's Burning
The Vapids - Appetite For Adrenochrome
Slapshot - Secrets
The Bodies - Pack Your Bags
Bouncing Souls - Single Successful Guy
Circle Jerks - Back Against The Wall
Suicidal Tendencies - I Saw Your Mommy
FM Knives - Summer Holiday
The Descendents - I Like Food
Groovie Ghoulies - Doin' Fine
Alkaline Trio - Jaked On Green Beers
Fugazi - Waiting Room
Avail - Vine
Chixdiggit - Geocities Kitty
Sex Pistols - Did You No Wrong

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I want to be happy for you.

I do.

You seem committed. You work hard. You put much sweat, thought and effort into your piece of "art" and if anyone deserves success, it is people like you who do.

I want to support you and be a cheerleader for your "cause". It feels natural for me to fall into that mode with ANYONE I know who puts as much as you have into their creative thing.

You're not a bad person. In fact, there are a few things about you that I find charming. Likable, even.

Well, a couple things.

But this is why I hate that I find myself in the position with you that I'm in.

I want to laugh all your cheesy un-funny jokes and nod my head, approvingly, like all your people do but I can't.

I really just can't.

You're overly insecure and awkward about your place in the "show business" world but you have decided to battle your insecurities with smugness and arrogance and it's so forced and UN-natural, I get the creeps just being around you most of the times.

If you were asking me for advice (and I know you're not) I'd suggest the following things:

1. Cut the schtick. I know, you'll find a hundred music business know-it-alls who will tell you, "You gotta have a schtick to make it in the music business these days" but they are wrong and they are full of shit. And so are you.

2. There is no such thing as a local "rock star". You might be able to sell some CDs and t-shirts and pull in people to your performances but in the grander scheme of things, you're just a person in a struggling local band like the rest of us and that's about it.

And that's not necessarily a bad thing.

3. Relax. Take some deep breaths. Try and enjoy what you do. If you want everyone else watching you to have fun, you have to first look like YOU are having fun.

4. Stop looking in the mirror and all the self-loathing you do.

5. Don't believe your OWN self-created hype. You might be able to fool a few lost and misguided dipshits out there but you'll never fool us smart dipshits.

I know that a post like this can and probably will inspire some bad blood and that'll have to be ok with me. I'm willing to make small sacrifices in the name of what I consider the truth and honestly, voicing my opinion means more to me than tweaking a fewe feelings every now and again.

I've sat back and tried, first to understand and then ignore your ego-based nonsense for a good long time now and I'm finally overwhelmed by just how shitty it makes me feel when you and I cross paths. It's not personal. It's not spiteful. It's not meant to be petty, trite or vicious.

It is, simply, the way I fucking feel.

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