My name is Kevin Seconds

holding pattern, circling

2005-08-23T17:12:00.000-07:00

I knew it would go down like this. I did.

I knew that, if and when the True Love would re-emerge, it would happen just as it is happening now.

I never thought that we'd close the place, find a place immediately and move right into our new home but I also never thought that it's take this long to find a new place if we did indeed decide to re-open (which was ALWAYS in question, quite honestly).

I spent parts of today on the phone, on the internet and at the city's planning department, gathering information and doing what I can to try and make progress.

The landlord of the building really wants to move on this and so do I but it's not just something you can speedily throw yourself head-first into. I/we could be locked into agreements that will require 5 years of my/our time, effort and commitment.

Fuck rushing right into anything, I say.

Still, yeah, I want this place and I want the keys NOW.

Anarchy Supper playlist, 8/12/05

2005-08-14T15:50:00.000-07:00

The Real McKenzies - Best Day Until Tomorrow
Hanover Saints - New War, Same War
The Lunachicks - Jerk Of All Trades
Murphy's Law - How To Star A Fight
Circle Jerks - Letter Bomb
Turbonegro - Train of Flesh
Groovie Ghoulies - Carol
The Helper Monkeys - Santa Fe
Dead Milkmen - Punk Rock Girl
X - White Girl
Lagwagon - Sleep
Mike Park - From Korea
Against Me! - Sink.Florida.Sink
Fear - Beef Baloney
Ramones - Psychotherapy
Suicidal Tendencies - Institutionalized
The Avengers - We Are The One
All - World's On Heroin
Samiam - Long Enough To Forget You

Me And My Big Dumb Nostalgia

2005-08-10T04:26:00.000-07:00

you're invited to
what i have planned for you
be not fearful or excited
grab that claim you stake
bake a pie or cake
and keep your fingers ever in it

(chorus)
curveball time again, sad to hear you're moving on
things you'd rather do, is it me, is something wrong?
keep this to yourself, keep it any way it goes
drift apart for now, get it back, lord only knows

proof is positive
no more you to give
at least the you i've known forever
but that's ok, it's fine
cuz all that was is mine
me and my big dumb nostalgia

(chorus)

Anarchy Supper playlist, 8/5/05

2005-08-07T20:16:00.000-07:00

Orange - No Rest For The Weekend
H20 - One Life, One Chance
State Of Alert - I Hate The Kids
Dropkick Murphys - Sunshine Highway
Screeching Weasel - I Hate Led Zeppelin
Iggy Pop - Search & Destroy
The Secretions - Computerhead
Strike Anywhere - Sunspotting
J.F.A. - Cokes & Snickers
Rancid - International Cover-Up
Madball - Get Out
M.I.A. - Gas Crisis
The Soviettes - Photograph
Jawbreaker - Rich
Minor Threat - Screaming At A Wall
Tiger Army - Atomic
Black Flag - Jealous Again
Pennywise - Premeditated Murder
The Buzzcocks - What Do I Get?
Sham 69 - Borstal Breakout
The Dead Boys - Ain't Nothing To Do
Bad Religion - Suffer
D.O.A. - Smash The State
Teen Idols - Ketchup Soup

Glory, Joy and Scream

2005-08-03T04:42:00.000-07:00

listen here

be careful, please don't fall
watch out for flies on walls
be clear or not at all
the password is hooray
accept your weaknesses
and hope there's something left
convinced it comes to this
as sure as Kev's my name

(chorus)
glory, joy, and scream out "oi!", boy
so good and bad
it's all that we ever had
glory, joy and scream out, "oi!", boy
she's mom and dad
it's all that we ever had

i'm blind because of you
a fact that makes me blue
and everything is true
except what's coming next
bring out the best in me
and then you set it free
come keep me company
and then please go away

(chorus)

Anarchy Supper playlist, 7/29/05

2005-07-29T22:15:00.000-07:00

Pennywise - Fox TV
The Subhumans - Rats
The Jam - The Modern World
Final Summation - Judgement Day
Smoke Or Fire - California's Burning
The Vapids - Appetite For Adrenochrome
Slapshot - Secrets
The Bodies - Pack Your Bags
Bouncing Souls - Single Successful Guy
Circle Jerks - Back Against The Wall
Suicidal Tendencies - I Saw Your Mommy
FM Knives - Summer Holiday
The Descendents - I Like Food
Groovie Ghoulies - Doin' Fine
Alkaline Trio - Jaked On Green Beers
Fugazi - Waiting Room
Avail - Vine
Chixdiggit - Geocities Kitty
Sex Pistols - Did You No Wrong

message to a couple of people i know....

2005-07-24T19:37:00.000-07:00

I want to be happy for you.

I do.

You seem committed. You work hard. You put much sweat, thought and effort into your piece of "art" and if anyone deserves success, it is people like you who do.

I want to support you and be a cheerleader for your "cause". It feels natural for me to fall into that mode with ANYONE I know who puts as much as you have into their creative thing.

You're not a bad person. In fact, there are a few things about you that I find charming. Likable, even.

Well, a couple things.

But this is why I hate that I find myself in the position with you that I'm in.

I want to laugh all your cheesy un-funny jokes and nod my head, approvingly, like all your people do but I can't.

I really just can't.

You're overly insecure and awkward about your place in the "show business" world but you have decided to battle your insecurities with smugness and arrogance and it's so forced and UN-natural, I get the creeps just being around you most of the times.

If you were asking me for advice (and I know you're not) I'd suggest the following things:

1. Cut the schtick. I know, you'll find a hundred music business know-it-alls who will tell you, "You gotta have a schtick to make it in the music business these days" but they are wrong and they are full of shit. And so are you.

2. There is no such thing as a local "rock star". You might be able to sell some CDs and t-shirts and pull in people to your performances but in the grander scheme of things, you're just a person in a struggling local band like the rest of us and that's about it.

And that's not necessarily a bad thing.

3. Relax. Take some deep breaths. Try and enjoy what you do. If you want everyone else watching you to have fun, you have to first look like YOU are having fun.

4. Stop looking in the mirror and all the self-loathing you do.

5. Don't believe your OWN self-created hype. You might be able to fool a few lost and misguided dipshits out there but you'll never fool us smart dipshits.

I know that a post like this can and probably will inspire some bad blood and that'll have to be ok with me. I'm willing to make small sacrifices in the name of what I consider the truth and honestly, voicing my opinion means more to me than tweaking a fewe feelings every now and again.

I've sat back and tried, first to understand and then ignore your ego-based nonsense for a good long time now and I'm finally overwhelmed by just how shitty it makes me feel when you and I cross paths. It's not personal. It's not spiteful. It's not meant to be petty, trite or vicious.

It is, simply, the way I fucking feel.

stomp on and cancel out

2005-07-22T22:46:00.001-07:00

Today was a semi-ok/semi-blah day despite the fact that I had my radio show to look forward to and do.

I told Al that I think I'm feeling slightly bluesy cuz this past week I had a radio show, 2 gigs and another radio show to keep myself busy and occupied and I did very little over-thinking about the troubling and/or tough parts of my life and now that I've accomplished it all, I'm sitting here scratching my (now nearly bald) head, going, "Fuck. What now?".

I realize that I'm just being a little mopey and that I have much to look forward to and be grateful for. Honestly, both last week's and this week's radio shows went well and the 2 gigs I played (last Saturday and last Wednesday nights, respectively) were 2 of my very favorites in a good long time.

But sometimes, I guess the thoughts and voice of one of the slightly more pessimistic and narcissistic "little people" that lives inside of me finds a way to stomp on and cancel out the thoughts and voices of all the OTHER "little people" living in/up there.

(if ever I find myself in a position to prove my sanity to myself or anybody else, I'll say this: sifting through these various blogs, podcasts and websites won't be how I do it)

Anyway, I'm fine. I'm (food) full. And I'm almost bald.

See...

Anarchy Supper playlist, 7/22/05

2005-07-22T22:41:00.000-07:00

Hanover Saints - 78 Cheat
Dead Kennedys- Police Truck
Pinhead Gunpowder - High Maintenance
The Snobs - She Said
The Soviettes - Photograph
The Unseen - Dead Weight Falls
The Zeros - Don't Push me Around
The Evens - Mt. Pleasant
The Helper Monkeys - Danger Fire
The Dickies - You Drive Me Ape
The Lawrence Arms - Presenting: The Dancing Machine
T.S.O.L. - Abolish Government/Silent Majority
The Replacements - Stuck In The Middle
Bad Brains - Re-Ignition
The Saints - I'm Stranded
Street Dogs - Stand Up
Pennywise - Go Away
The Lemonheads - Don't Wanna
Leatherface - True Colors
The Minutemen - This Ain't No Picnic

Anarchy Supper playlist, 7/15/05

2005-07-16T18:14:00.000-07:00

Sex Pistols - No Feelings
Hot Water Music - Last Goodbyes
The Mutants - Insect Lounge
Life Is Bonkers - I'm A Wrecking Ball
Suicide Machines - High Anxiety
Rancid - Ruby Soho
The Secretions - Cemetary Pogo
The Matches - Shoot Me In The Smile
NOFX - See Her Pee
Paint It Black - Head Hurts, Hands On Fire
The Adolescents - Rip It Up
The Flipsides - Punk Underwood
Bad Religion - News From The Front
The Knockoffs - I Want A Monkey
The Damned - Stab Your Back
The Misfits - We Are 138
Screeching Weasel - I Wanna Be Naked
One Man Army - 300 Miles
The Clash - Complete Control
Agnostic Front - Riot Riot Upstart
Poison Idea - Think Fast

Anarchy Supper playlist, 7/8/05

2005-07-13T06:05:00.000-07:00

Turbonegro - Train Of Flesh
Circle Jerks - Live Fast, Die Young
Sick Of It All - Built To Last
The Meices - Alex Put Something In His Pocket
The Helper Monkeys - Santa Fe
The Exploding Hearts - Modern Kicks
Dropkick Murphys - Your Spirit's Alive
Whiskey Rebels - Deadly City
The Clash - Career Opportunities
The Soviettes - Multiply & Divide
The Lunachicks - Knuckle Sandwich
Green Day - The Ballad of Wilhelm Fink
Black Flag - Revenge
The Loved Ones - Chicken
Devo - Mongoloid
Thee Headcoatees - Ca Plane Pour Moi
The Riff Randalls - Fun In The Sun
Down By Law - Independence Day
The Dickies - Manny, Moe & Jack
Bad Religion - You Are (The Government)
Joe Strummer & The Mescaleros - Redemption Song

Pawdcast URL Change

2005-07-11T17:05:00.000-07:00

Hey guys!

Once again, I will be moving my podcast back to Blogspot.

I'm ok with the company (libsyn.com) that hosts my podcast/audio files but frankly, their interface sucks and is just too limiting. Besides that, uploading new content to their server can sometimes take forever. Or not work for hours.

So, starting early next week (probably Monday), the new URL for the Kevin Seconds Paw[d]cast Radio Show will be:

http://ksecondsradio.blogspot.com

The feed to subscribe to the podcast will be: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ksecondsradio.
This will be the URL you would put into whatever podcast software you use to listen.

Sorry for another change but I gotta go with something a little more reliable and less restrictive.

Anarchy Supper playlist, 7/1/05

2005-07-02T03:45:00.000-07:00

Pennywise - Disconnect
The Misfits - Children In Heat
Strike Anywhere - Incendiary
Dropkick Murphys - Boston Asphalt
Smoke Or Fire - California's Burning
Dead Kennedys - Drug Me
Kill You Idols - I'll Call You Back
Hanover Saints - Looking Down A Barrel
The Damned - Stab Your Back
Rancid - Black & Blue
The Dils - You're Not Blank
The Teen Idols - Shadowman
The Soviettes - Paranoia Cha Cha Cha!
Sham 69 - Sunday Morning Nightmare
The Undertones - Here Comes The Summer
The Descendents - Everything Sucks
Social Distortion - Sick Boys
Jawbreaker - Box Car
The Secretions - You Can't Be Trusted
AFI - The Days Of the Phoenix
Ramones - Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment

Anarchy Supper playlist, 6/24/05

2005-06-25T01:40:00.000-07:00

Red Tape - Damage Control
Angelic Upstarts - I Won't Pay For Liberty
The Clash - I'm So Bored With The USA (request)
The Secretions - I'm Gonna Kick Your Daddy's Ass
The Evens - All These Governors
The Avengers - We Are The One
Dag Nasty - Lie Down and Die (request)
No Use For A Name - It's Tragic
Groovie Ghoulies - Loser Like Eye
Radio Birdman - Murder City Nights
The Queers - That Girl (request)
The Rezillos - Flying Saucer Attack
Minor Threat - Screaming At A Wall (request)
Final Summation - Judgement Day
M.I.A. - I Hate Hippies
Sex Pistols - God Save The Queen (request)
Slapshot - Old Tyme Hardcore
Bouncing Souls - Low Life

Anarchy Supper playlist, 6/17/05

2005-06-18T16:31:00.000-07:00

Final Summation - No More
Mr T Experience - Oh, Just Have Some Faith In Me
The Exploited - I Still Believe In Anarchy (request)
Champion - Next Year
Eddie & The Hot Rods - Do Anything You Wanna Do
Good Riddance - Weight Of The World (request)
The Snobs - She Said
Dropkick Murphys - Sunshine Highway (request)
Anton Barbeau - I Don't Like You
F-Minus - Caught In Between
Richard Hell & The Voidoids - Love Comes In Spurts
Black Flag - Spray Paint
Hanover Saints - Murdertown
Lars Frederiksen & The Bastards - Little Rude Girl (request)
The Vapids - Appetite For Adrenochrome
The Soviettes - Roller Girls
The Zeros - Wild Weekend
7Seconds - Rules To Follow (request)
Operation Ivy - Bad Town
Bad Brains - Pay To Cum
H20 - One Life One Chance (request)

Well, damn!

2005-06-14T15:40:00.000-07:00

Got my 2nd rejection e-mail from a record label today. It was polite and, like the first one, mentioned my involvement with 7Secs in a kind, respectful way.

This label was really the only label I was excited about sending something to because they put out so many amazing records and is run by some seemingly cool, fair, music-loving people.

I didn't have high hopes but I would love to find a label "home" such as this one.

At least they bothered e-mailing me to say, "thanks but, no thanks", y'know. That means something these days.

Oh well.

Seriously, I'm not even bummed and I'm definitely not surprised.

As mentioned often, I'm not even sure where my side musical stuff is going and how or why other people would find it appealing (marketable) enough to want to throw money and resources into putting it out.

I don't say this in a self-deprecating manner. I know why *I* love my music and how important it is to *ME*. I'm just a little curious about what it could possibly mean to anyone else besides my handfuls of wonderful and devoted fans :)

2 down, 4 to go.

Troy's ass and I

2005-06-12T18:48:00.000-07:00

somewhere in Europe, sometime late April 2005.

i will have a new band soon.....

2005-06-12T07:31:00.000-07:00

....and this is kinda what it will sound like (except with real live musicians):

..."Take Off The Safety

(written, recorded and mixed on 6/12/05, 3am by myself)

(c)2005 Kevin Seconds (BMI)

1 year ever-present

2005-06-11T16:43:00.000-07:00

every day when i wake up,
i yawn, scratch my nose,
rub my blurry red eyes
and the first thought
i think is of the
oncoming
1 year ever-present
*thing*
that is nearly upon me (us)

and my first thought is
emptiness
despair
doom
and gloom
blah blah blah

but i force myself
to snap out of
this sadness
and stop this
maddening
feeling sorry for myself
bullshit

and remember that

while some things end,
other things begin
and that's what i'm
hopeful for,
that's what
allows me to
get my lazy ass
out of bed
every day
lately.

(i know i will never lose you completely....that was never meant to be)

Anarchy Supper radio show playlist, 6/10/05

2005-06-11T15:59:00.000-07:00

Elvis Costello- Radio Radio
Bouncing Souls - Ole!
The Damned - Smash It Up, pt. 2
The Soviettes - Paranoia Cha Cha Cha!
Avail - Scuffle Town
Angry Samoans - Right Side Of My Mind
Joe Strummer & the Mescaleros - Coma Girl
No Use For A Name - Slow Fading Fast
Scream - Solidarity
The Descendents - Myage
The Knockoffs - Rumble In The Housing Project
X Ray Spex - Oh Bondage Up Yours!
Rancid -Nihilism
The Flipsides - The Best Of Times
Public Nuisance - Small Faces
The Germs - Lexicon Devil
U.S. Bombs - Skater Dater
Chixdiggit - I Remember You
Paint It Black - Head Hurts, Hands On Fire

Anarchy Supper radio show playlist, 6/3/05

2005-06-03T20:42:00.000-07:00

Dropkick Murphys - Sunshine Highway
The Dils - You're Not Blank
Generation X - 100 Punks Rule
Groovie Ghoulies - Happy Birthday
Smoke Or Fire - Cops and Drugs
Sex Pistols - EMI
Screeching Weasel - Dingbat
Sham 69 - Angels With Dirty Faces
The Bags - Babylonian Gorgon
The Knockoffs - No Win Situation
All Systems Go! - Nothing At All
The Avengers - The American In Me
The Clash - Clash City Rockers
Chixdiggit - Welcome To The Daiso
Poison Idea - Pure Hate
Social Unrest - Making Room For Youth
Suicidal Tendencies - I Saw Your Mommy
The Epoxies - Synthesized
The Muffs - Kids In America
Cro-Mags - Hard Times
Menace - Insane Society
Strike Anywhere - Antidote

Hey Sactos.....

2005-06-03T13:58:00.000-07:00

Apparently, I am opening for my friend Jonah Matranga, Monday, June 13th at Old Ironsides (10th & S Sts, downtown Sacramento).

That's about all the info on have on the show at this point :)

2005-06-03T04:37:00.000-07:00

Sometimes
separation is
the best answer
for
several difficult
questions.

It's what
we've been
telling ourselves
and
each other
and we're
finally getting around
to
believing it.

Holy Shit!

2005-05-30T17:43:00.000-07:00

Am I getting 'old guy neck' already?

my Anarchy Supper radio show for 5/27/05

2005-05-28T14:01:00.000-07:00

The Clash - Tommy Gun
The Dickies - Poodle Party
Alkaline Trio - Emma
Dag Nasty - Circles
The Briggs - Bored Teenager
The Evens - All These Governors
Chixdiggit - Geocities Kitty
The Loved Ones - 100K
X - White Girl
Operation Ivy - Sound System
The Epoxies - Synthesized
The Undertones - Teenage Kicks
Sick Of It All - Sanctuary
NOFX - We Got 2 Jealous Agains
Suicide Machines - Did You Ever Get The Feeling Of Dread?
Social Distortion - Mommy's Little Monster
Go Betty Go - You're Your Worst Enemy
Avail - Deepwood

I'm a dope

2005-05-27T16:46:00.000-07:00

It's funny what small, slightly strange things will do to cheer you up after a deep, dark sick/future-scared-induced funk.

I'm at a cafe answering e-mails and editing punk rock songs on my iBook and I notice on my iTunes that I'm picking up someone else's iTunes playlist and wouldn't ya know it? There, among tunes by Britney Spears, Manic Street Preachers, New Found Glory, Brendan Benson and Train, is "Aqua Dirty" by Go National.

Nice.

By the way, the new Brendan Benson is just so fucking good. I might be listening to it from some girl's iBook but I'm gonna get it myself.

American Idol has got to go

2005-05-26T02:20:00.000-07:00

I know how absolutely pointless it is to even speak on this crap, this American Idol craze/garbage. But I find myself compelled to do so, anyway.

And I won't spend too much time on it.

And for the record, I don't really have a problem with occasional mindless TV viewing. I really don't. I have been known to get behind such TV shit-fest fare as The Surreal Life, Survivor, Monster Garage, I didn't even mind that Celebrity Fit Club silliness on some nights. I'm a big fan of non-fiction writing and documentary filmmaking, so why wouldn't I be at least mildly interested in reality TV, y'know?

Well, American Idol is just the worst. The first couple of weeks can be somewhat entertaining, only because there's something slightly fun watching the 3 judges suffer through all those early auditions. I must also admit that I can still be entertained by Simon Cowell's causticity, predictable as it is (stuff the other two....what the fuck is up with them?...oh yeah, that's right, too much music industry and too much Hollywood). But really, once the actual competition gets rolling, it becomes nothing more than a musical version of the Miss America pageant or those cheesy old shows like Star Search.

Just despicable, worthless stuff.

I guess I just find it amazing how so caught up in the show some people get. Beyond some brief conversation between Allyson and I might have during the commercial breaks while watching the stupid thing, I can't imagine EVER discussing it with people, even in extremely casual conversation. Yet so many people discuss it in groups, at bars and on the Internet.

Who wins or loses has no real bearing on any of us average, every day Joes yet here we are talking about it as though it holds the same significance as war, crime, disaster, politics or even a big sporting event.

Enough already.

Me too.

the Kevin Seconds schtick

2005-05-24T15:06:00.000-07:00

Wow! I just browsed through the last few entries here in my blawg and realize that I've been one whiney, depressing motherfuck lately.

When did I turn into THAT person? I'm positive I haven't always been like this.

Or have I? :)

One thing I DO know is that for years, I have been floating around life, oblivious to the absolute and very real fact that I am getting old and with the aging going on in me comes a physical breakdown of sorts. My body doesn't maintain fitness as well as it once did. I mean, shit, when I was younger, I didn't even HAVE to work out to get in shape, physically. I get sick easier and when I do, it lingers longer.

It never did before.

I think I blame punk rock for this unwillingness to accept the aging process :) I'm being silly but honestly, in 27 or so years, I have been completely submersed in a youth-CRAZY sub-culture that focuses almost solely on being vital, energetic and relevant. The messages are passionate and idealistic, the music, fast, hard and furious.

You just can't quite pull all that off when you're old, can you? And who says you have to?

That's the thing. I know I still have my ideals and values and am passionate and committed to help make the world a better place, even if it IS in the miniscule way I go about doing so. As long as I breathe, I'm pretty certain I will ALWAYS be viewing/living life in this way and I don't have a problem with that at all.

But I gotta say, there is something a little off-putting and skeevy about middle-aged people getting up onstage and raving like an angry 19 year old. I don't know exactly why but when I see it, it bugs me a little.

That said, sometimes I feel like I just can't help myself. When I'm up there doing my thing, it's all heartfelt and well-intentioned. Rarely do I feel as though I'm going through the motions or just working my "Kevin Seconds" schtick and when I do, I quickly poke myself (which usually results in some long-lasting injury...go figure) and am able to UN-focus and lose myself to that specific moment of pure and good, punk rock madness.

So, why bring this all up? I haven't a clue. I've been noticing my punk rock/hardcore "peers" lately and it's hard not to compare myself with them. Guys like Ian MacKaye, Henry Rollins, Bob Mould, Jello Biafra, they've all grown "old" well and gracefully and have maintained their spirit and sensibility without having to continue playing ear-splitting, body-breaking punk rock music to the masses.

Not that I necessarily mind still playing the punk rock. I love it when I feel like I do it right.

Oh, I don't know where I'm going with all this......

my debut Anarchy Supper radio show, 5/20/05

2005-05-20T23:23:00.000-07:00

The Descendents - Everything Sucks
Hanover Saints - Just Look Around
The Misfits - Children In Heat
Kill Your Idols - Still Pist
Dropkick Murphys - Pipebomb On Lansdowne
M.I.A. - Tell Me Why
The Germs - Media Blitz
Rancid - As One
Bouncing Souls - Say Anything
Strike Anywhere - Two Fuses
H20 - One Life, One Chance
Circle Jerks - Deny Everything
Dead Kennedys - Stealing People's Mail
Only Crime - RJR
The Buzzcocks - Everybody's Happy Nowadays
The Business - Hardcore Hooligan
Groovie Ghoulies - Bye Bye Brain
Motorhead - Ace Of Spades
Black Flag - Revenge
D.O.A. - The Prisoner
Minor Threat - Seeing Red
The Knockoffs - I Think I Wanna Be
The Ramones - Cretin Hop
Bad Religion - How Much Is Enough?

ick

2005-05-17T17:45:00.000-07:00

I'm just now recovering from a hellish 4-day stomach drama fest, all brought on by my on-going battle with gallstones, or more specifically, gall-GRAVEL.

Most of you who know me have already heard me moan about this shitty part of my existence so I'll just say that it sucks and be happy that I'm feeling good about breathing again.

New Kev/Ghetto Moments song

2005-05-08T00:32:00.000-07:00

This is a brand new one, written, recorded and rough-mixed last night (5/7/05).

It's working title is, "I Love You (I Do)"

CLICK HERE.

I Love You (I Do)
strings, attached so tight
let's make it right
and lighten up our load
console, the answer's near
there's someone here,
who wants to intervene

(chorus)
but i love you, i do
and it might be the hardest thing i do
say baby, please don't take offense
let's figure out the difference
at home

lines, yet to be drawn
and we go on
with blueprints in our hearts
and souls, we must be bold
mute out the cold
is it so difficult?

(chorus)

time, let's waste no more
and give ourselves, a little credit now
we're better off then some
you ask, "how come?'
i wish i had a clue

(chorus)

(by the way, these song files are converted to a much lesser quality MP3 for obvious reasons....hey, you'll appreciate the actual versions so much more!)

i wasn't away long enough

2005-05-07T17:05:00.000-07:00

i was only gone a week
and this latest trip to Europe
which ended for me
last night
already feels like
it lasted a month

and that would be fine if
i felt
less physically beaten up,
less deaf
and had shed a more pounds

instead
it's just a bit more of the same -
sore and tired throat,
a slightly higher
long distance phonebill
and a few more Euros
in my pocket

i also know that
if i don't miss at least
one issue of my city's
weekly alternative paper,
i wasn't away
long enough.

5/6/05
Sacto

honored but can't bother

2005-05-07T16:59:00.000-07:00

quietly
friends from up north
passed on
the old lad's latest efforts
respectfully explaining that
the work,
though fine and dandy
as it was,
was not the fine and dandy
that they wanted
or needed it
to be

hey

(at least they rejected me quickly
and nicely)

5/3/05

living and breathing and dying like a moron

2005-05-06T13:53:00.000-07:00

I swear to god. I truly have a love/hate thing with touring. I have absolutely no doubts about that, anymore.

When I'm sitting around at home, wasting time, growing older and gaining weight, it's all I can think about. Yet when I'm actually out there doing it, I look for all the crap things to bitch about and pick on and point to as reasons I never want to tour again. It's such bullshit because honestly, I rarely think of anything else I'd much rather do. Besides maybe being able to take care of yourself and your family, nothing beats being able to do what I get to do 1-4 times a year. You experience a side of life that you can't even get close to in normal, every day (eat/work/school/shit/fuck/sleep) life and even when they're lame, you end up having some pretty memorable moments of meeting interesting people.

People who think, act, speak, look and smell differently.

Like, when you're traipsing around some city in Belgium or Germany or some US city like New York or Austin or Boise, you KNOW you are elsewhere, far, far away from home, there's no doubt in your mind you're living and breathing in a small pocket of space that you don't get to, every day. It instills a tremendously reverential and joyous "vibe" inside my being and I can't think of anything much bigger. Or better. I love the shit out of it. I actually crave it and become angrier when I'm sitting dormant, feeling falsely satisfied and secure and not getting enough of it.

And it's not even because I love people in general all that much. I mean, yeah, I *do* love people and can easily recognize that we ALL are capable of some pretty amazing and monumental moments but it goes way beyond a love for humanity and and respect for different cultures and what-not.

The only bad thing about it is that I can just never describe or explain it and what *it* does for me in my own life and it sometimes makes me feel bad or guilty for being unable to do so. I know it's not the most important thing in the world but I'd sure like to be able to, some day.

Explain and describe it, that is.

I keep thinking about what it's going to be like when I'm too old or deaf or poor or un-marketable to travel to other parts of the world and the thought stuns and practically keeps me from moving any part of my body for long minutes at a time.
I HATE thinking that there will be a time when I'm forced to remain rooted and stationary.

To people. To places. To responsibilities and concerns. To rules and regulations and ideas that I am vehemently opposed to.

I'm not meant for it and vice versa. I know this. In fact, it may just be the only one thing I *DO* truly know.

Heh. This little rant was meant to try and cheer myself up. So much for that! :)

New Songs Updated

2005-04-26T07:28:00.000-07:00

I wrote and recorded 2 new songs last night and have posted one of them (tentative title: "So Sorry (For Almost Everything)") HERE.

The other song - "Sometimes You're Better Than Me" is posted HERE.

Oh, so yeah, this idea of how to expose and sell myself idea

2005-04-24T18:15:00.000-07:00

Basically, I'm starting a club where I'm gonna offer my new songs, photos, drawings and paintings to interested peoples to join, kinda like the Misfits Fiend Club or Sub Pop's Single Of The Month Club (or even 7Seconds' fun but terribly unorganized Heavy Duty Crew/Friend Club from so many years back).

Members will pay a monthly donation and get a bunch of nifty me stuff.

It's still a young idea and I'm not sure there's much of a demand for something like this. Then again, enough people hit me up about how to get ahold of new musical material or want to know if I ever sell my drawings and paintings and I never really know what to tell them.

Maybe an idea like this is the answer. We'll see.

Stay tuned.

4/24/05

2005-04-24T18:12:00.000-07:00

So I think I've discovered a new and fun way to expose and sell myself.

I know. That sounds filthy and pervy, doesn't it?

But really, I need to get my (non-7Seconds) music and self out in the world and I've been doing a HORRIBLE job doing it all these years and I'm realizing the need for drastic change.

So, stay tuned for this big, new and fun idea I have. I will be posting about it before I leave for Europe later this week.

Meanwhile, I've been hibernating in the studio again, trying to finish up (in piecework fashion, no less) the Ghetto Moments CD, mainly. I think my biggest hold-up with it is this deep-rooted fear of doing the mixdown on it myself. It's not that i don't know what I'm doing. Well, I really *DON'T* know what I'm doing. Not technically, anyway. But I don't really trust my ears for something this big. I trust my instincts. I just don't trust my ears.

So yeah, I'm still in "fine-tuning" mode on that.

But, I have been working on other musical bits. I mention the acoustic punk thing that I'm calling the Laugh Riots. I've got about 7 songs put together for that.

Then there's my latest thing, this idea I've been tinkering with for years now.

I want to write and record music for film and TV.

Yes, I can just imagine you sitting there cringing right now. Images of one of my songs being used in 'American Pie 14' or to promote Bud Light or a Nissan or whatever. But seriously, I am a *HUGE* movie freak and often-times, I find myself focusing more on the film's score than I do the actual film. It is just something I have always dreamed about doing.

Of course, the TV thing, I could take or leave but even that appeals to me. On occasion when I find myself watching some shitty reality show or whatever, I always notice these really generic punk-ish and metal-ly song bits used during scene transistions and what-not and I always think, FUCK, I could do so much better than that and how much fun would that be?

I dunno. Maybe I'm just an idiot but the idea appeals to me in a big way.

Anyway, I've been goffing around with that stuff and coming up with some neat things. I'm going to post some samples on my website when I get the chance and show you what I'm talking about.

I won't even get into the new LOUD punk thing I wanna do.

Not just yet.

My on-going radio silliness

2005-04-21T18:21:00.000-07:00

Met with the new program director at KWOD today and yeah, I'm getting my punk radio show back and get this, it'll now be on every Friday at 7pm instead of 12 noon. AWESOME!!

Punk rock just doesn't belong on daytime airwaves.

Now I just need to come up with a cool new name for the show.

4/19/05

2005-04-19T19:28:00.001-07:00

While Al and I were in San Francisco last weekend, we saw David Dondero at the Hemlock Tavern. David and I played together at 924 Gilman Street and he played the True Love once or twice and he's a terribly great singer-songwriter who you should check when you get a moment. That's DAVID DONDERO. He's released a couple of records on the Future Farmer label and has an album coming out in August, I *THINK*, on Bright Eyes dude's label, Team Love.

Meanwhile, I spent a few hours last night demo-ing new songs for my new fuck-punk outfit, the Laugh Riots. I know, you're saying, "Oh Kev, ANOTHER side project?!!!".

Well, yeah. I have another musical project that doesn't happen to sound like 7Seconds or Ghetto Moments. Maybe something kinda in between, actually.

OH, and yeah, I DID say "fuck-punk" but only cuz I didn't want to say, "FOLK-punk".

Got it?

4/11/05

2005-04-11T17:07:00.000-07:00

Yo dawgs. Berkeley show with Mike Park was really fun. The turnout was really great and Mike was awesome, as usual. I say it often and I'll keep saying it: because of people like Mike and Ian MacKAYE and Kepi, my heart and head is able to keep in this whole punk rock/independent music underground, solidly, fiercely and without many doubts. They truly inspire me to wanna be better.
Certainly more involved.

Like I said before, I'll be taking a very small break from performing so that I can get the upcoming Ghetto Moments album finished and released before summer. I'm bound and determined to foist this lumbering, over-indulgent musical mess of mine onto the rest of humanity.

What choice do I have?

Meanwhile, I'll still try and update the podcasts regularly: kevinseconds.libsyn.com
-Kev